Prayer After Speaking at the J. High retreat

Jesus,

My soul is not at ease. I don’t know exactly what it is. I don’t know how to place this feeling. I don’t like speaking. I think that’s it. I think I thought that I did. But I surely don’t.  I don’t feel like I communicate well. I fear that my words are crafted to suit the ears of men rather than to be pleasing to You, to pierce hearts and convict, to encourage, and to proclaim Your greatness. I am a worm and not a man. I have no good but You. I can do nothing good apart from You. You alone are worthy to be praised. Blessed be Your name, O Great Father.

I just pray that the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart would be pleasing to You, my God. I pray that Your words of power and truth would not fall upon deaf ears, but that they would level our souls, that our prides would not be left standing in Your Spirit’s wake. Let us be laid to rest; let us be humbled. O that Your name alone would be great. Jesus wake souls up from the dead! Create in us pure hearts, O God. Renew us in Your unfailing love. Let us not stand upon our own strength, but upon grace and grace alone, for there is nothing more. We get you. If we persevere, if we continue in our faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out for us in the gospel, you give us the right to sit with you on your throne in heaven. For eternity. What endless joy and perfect peace will be found there. There is no one like You and no god but you. To whom will I compare You? Or who is Your equal? Who can stay your hand or say to You, “What have You done?” You need nothing, as if You could be served by human hands. At Your name every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. He is the Alpha and the Omega. He never changes. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. He is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy.

Who is like our God? He does as He pleases. It pleases Him to be with His children. To meet them, while they were yet sinners. He died for the ungodly. He who knew no sin became sin for us to reconcile us to God. He rose from the grave, and now He is seated at the right hand of God.

Thank you, Father. Thank you, Spirit. Thank you, Savior. I would be blind without You. I would be dead. Lead me back to the cross in repentance. May I stand in awe of who You are and what You have done.

It was never about what I could do or what I could say. It was never up to me to save any of these students. Only Your Spirit can bring people to Yourself. If you had wanted them to be here before 1140, You would have brought them here before then. Your plans are perfect, and You never fail. Thank You for that. Thank you for saving a sinner as twisted and as vile as me. Thank You for teaching me how to love on them, even if I am not as skilled at communicating with them as I wish I was.

Thank You that my words are death, and Yours are life. Thank You that I can do nothing on my own strength. Thank You that nothing is too hard for You. Move in power this weekend. Change hearts forever for Your name’s sake. May community and fellowship be built from this place. May walls be torn down and hearts restored. May Your name alone be exalted and lifted up. Praise the name of Jesus. He’s my rock. He’s my fortress, the only one I can fully trust. He has never let me down. He has always been there when I needed Him. Praise His incomparable name.